WARNING! NEGATIVE!
2014 has unequivocally destroyed my rose colored
glasses. The world as a whole is truly a
vile place. I look to find the greener
grass and at this point I do not believe in a second that there is any. Society is nothing more than a vast desert of
emotion. Unfeeling, uncaring and narcissistic.
So here are some of the wonderful things I have learned during the year of 2014. For which I will call the year of awakening.
People really suck to
the core: I have spent my life only
seeking the good in people. Excusing the
bad things with comments such as “they are just having a bad day”, “it’s not
about me, its their own issue” and so on and so forth. The truth is that we all
have the power and the obligation to take responsibility for our actions. If we talk to someone or treat someone poorly
regardless of our “mood” this behavior is on us. And generally the people I deal with in the
world are just plain mean and selfish.
ALL OF THEM
There is no help for
the mentally abused: In assisting a friend in a very psychologically abused
relationship I have discovered that there is absolutely no help. No help in the court system. No help in the advocacy groups, which are
established to help abused women and children, no help ANYWHERE. In order to receive any level of assistance
you either have to be significantly wealthy (for the court system) or someone
actually has to punch you. Pushes and
kicks are not considered abuse if they do not occur on a regular basis.
The people who
struggle pay the most: Late fees, higher interests, poor fees, you name it,
if you are struggling you pay it. It’s a
system designed to not allow someone to be prosperous. I’m ok where here or there but damn. If you get behind you are there FOREVER! There
is no hope in site. There is no way to
get out of the whirlpool. There is no
assistance for people in the middle class.
NONE. However, if I decide to
stop contributing to the economy, my rent, lights, food, phone, internet, addictions,
medical, dental, vision and everything else is paid for. In most cases all I would have to do is pop
out a child. Where do those of us who
work our asses off to pay for the loafers or fill the pockets of the banks, utility
companies, and everyone else go to get some fucking assistance? I can’t even get help from the local churches
because I make too much money… and yet I have no groceries, I quit smoking, I
cut my own hair and do my own nails. I
give what I can (because that’s what they say helps you get helped) I try and
try and for what! The lights will be cut
off in a week. I’m 200 short on rent, my
car payment has not been made for three months (they won’t help much because I
am behind), I have no auto insurance (to expensive to start and maintain with a
21 year old and two full coverage vehicles).
As soon as my check deposits in the bank I am 500 negative. Christmas sucked… why should I work? The government will pay for all of my shit if
I don’t.
The world make victims
of the struggling: So I apply for a
few loans online and I am denied of course because I am struggling and what
happens, I’m now being harassed by fake
bill collectors trying to scare me into paying debts I do not owe when they
know I’m broke because they got my info from some place I probably fell victim
to thinking they were a legitimate lending office because if you can’t steal
from the rich and you can’t steal food stamps you might as well steal from
those who are struggling but they have jobs.
So I wear this huge sign on my head that says… Please take from me my
blood, sweat and tears… kick me while I am down. Abuse me endlessly and I’ll just lie here and
take it.
Being Positive is wasted
energy: the longer I have tried to
stay positive the harder life has hit me in the face. I have always known and recognized the negative
however I have trained myself to focus on the positive and hope for the
best. It’s a complete waste!!!!!!! It’s
not real and I now believe what I have fought so long to keep at bay…. There is
no good anywhere. Any effort you put forth
of goodness is returned in hatred, lies and betrayal.
There is no point
I am done
