Men say they don’t understand women and from my experience that is true (in most cases). Not to say anything bad about men in general it is difficult to get into a woman’s head and know what’s going on. We are complicated. Chasing our thoughts down the rabbit hole and branching into tangents and hoping to figure it all out. I’ve been doing a lot of thinking lately especially as my relationship is coming to an end. In my thoughts I have been trying to identify what it is I want… as a woman. Finally after some alone deliberation it has come to me. I want to share this information.
There is one thing a woman really needs… It is what we are programmed to seek out in
our mate. This one thing has only three categories. What we need is Security! Physical security, emotional security and
financial security. Hear me out:
Physical Security: A woman needs to feel protected that if
danger is imminent her mate will be able to protect her. Though I don’t buy into us being of the
weaker sex nor do I believe a girl cannot hold her own. This need is primal. Instinctive. I bet this is where the “Bad Boy” infatuation
comes from. We see him as strong and
tough physically. The “Bad Boy” can
protect us physically in the event of a Zombie Apocalypse.
Emotional Security:
This is where love falls. We need to
feel loved, needed, trusted. I want to
trust you hold my heart as dear to you as I hold yours. That we are together fighting the world back
to back in the face of existence. I need
to be trusted just as I need to trust.
This doesn’t mean we need to unleash on you all our issues
(but if we do you hear us). Listening
without action, letting us tell you a problem without you instantly trying to
fix it. Typically we know what to do… we
just want to be heard.
Our mate also has to have his emotions in check or at least
on the same level as our own. Unfortunately
there is a double standard here that applies to the men of the world… (Some of
where the confusion comes in). We seek
sensitive partners… because that is what we think we need. Someone who feels like we do. But then if we find him it’s not what we
wanted after all… we look back to the physical security needs and a lot of the
time these two do not come together.
As women we do ourselves a great injustice with this. Men
are different… they do not think like women and that’s perfectly ok. We need someone who compliments us. Someone who fills in the gaps. Provides what we cannot.
Respect also falls into this category. Without it there is zero emotional
security. Respect of your partners
strengths and weaknesses and loving beyond them. Understanding our emotional needs and not
disregarding them. Of all of the
strengths a woman seeks in my humble opinion this one is the absolute most
important.
Financial Security: don’t let this label fool you. Financial security is a dual effort. It doesn’t necessarily mean the man has to
make more money. However it does mean
that as a couple all of the financial needs are met. The bills are paid, there is money in case of
an emergency and we have a little fun fund.
There are plenty of healthy marriages where the woman is the bread
winner and the man is a stay at home dad or the support for the working woman. I love the thought of diversity. And each relationship is between the people
in it and not anyone else. So please do
not take this wrong. I fully believe
that if it works for you don’t change it.
Some women get caught up in this one and try and substitute the
rest with this one. Ladies, there is a
reason why they say money cannot buy happiness.
Because without emotional and physical security…. You still are left
wanting. And Money cannot buy those
things.
Some men take offense because a woman’s salary is higher
than hers. Typically as long as we are
both contributing we (as women) don’t always get caught up in this. However, if it bothers you and your emotions
are off because of it… communicate with your spouse or correct the problem… but
do not treat her poorly because of it. Remember…
you have the power to do whatever it is that you want to.
It’s hard to articulate how each of these things are important. These are only summations of the thoughts in my head and are not complete. I welcome comments and questions. Please keep it respectful. I welcome a healthy debate
