Wow it's been a whole year since I started this blog. I dont come here often... LOL... I guess I dont have much brain to dump.  I'm taking a small break from preparing for my anual christmas party and I am exhausted.  But in the same breath very excited to see friends and family and enjoy an evening of fellowship with them.  I hope everyone has a wonderful holiday season!

Blog on the go...

Im excited to be able to blig from my phone. Look at this thing I made:

Long Time No Blog.

I'm not entirely sure anyone is reading anyway but this is a great outlet for me so I'll blog when I can and one day read back and laugh at my self... (At least that's what I do with all those old journals from when I was a young girl through my early 20s.  Those are the things comedies are built on... LOL.

Anyway... I was reading over my last blog where I was in a state of hopelessness when blogging.  There have been many changes since then and there are many things that are the same.  Work... meh!  Home... better...  but during the last few weeks I had an epiphany.  To many times we look externally for happiness.  We expect our loved ones and the people around us to be accountable for our morale and that is where my mind has been for a few months now.  I have expected others to contribute to my happiness and that is where I failed because ultimately I am the ONLY person that is in control of that.  I sought out my managers to do the right thing (according to my mind).  I expected my family to understand and contribute (without explanation) and that ultimately lead to my own disappointment. 

Yes, the people who love me genuinely care about my happiness and no matter how hard they try unless I am truly happy with myself there is not really anything they can do to contribute.  I decided that I would come up off of my PITY POT and take charge of my happiness.  Learn to recognize when my loved ones were trying and learn to understand that aside from a handful of people the only person who really cares if I am happy is ME... and ultimately I am the only one who can do a damn thing about it. 

So...  I picked myself up... dusted off....  took a long hard look at myself in the mirror and said "Suck it up Candy Ass.... Get Happy!!!!"

Hopeless

That is where I am.  I am hopeless.  Which is different than my usual self.  Ask my friends and family... I usually have a very positive "nothings gonna get me down" attitude about things... but lately I cant even muster a smile.  I have lived with a migrain or tention headache daily for two weeks... (great new meds by the way). 

Work is highly stressful... we are "lean and mean" for contract rebid so that means all the extra load is (unevenly) dispersed among the remaining bodies and the pressure is building... we have already had one eruption (lead by me of course)... but that didnt even help.  It feels like now one false move and your getting the axe...

Home... hmmm let me see.  I feel completely disrespected by everyone in it.  I just want to crawl into a hole and never come out...

A new super hero!

Or would that be arch villan?  LOL.... My sister and I were chatting the other day and she brought to my attention that I might have a bit of a exagerated reaction to certain situations... sometimes maybe a little extreme given the circumstance.  Well,  I might tend to agree with her on that, sometimes....  LOL

So today we were chatting and she expressed a frustration that she had with someone and I said do you want me to get on them?  You know me I'll rip 'em a new A--hole.... because I am "Over Reactive Girl".... The superhero that takes everything to the extreme... What a great laugh we had.  I think my next step is to design my super hero costume.